The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
The Midnight Writer
Joe Flacco Used to Laugh at Some of Ray Lewis’ Speeches
After signing an enormous deal to return to the Baltimore Ravens, Super Bowl MVP Joe Flacco is probably feeling pretty good about himself. He's feeling so good he's being a little more forthcoming with his opinions about a myriad of topics -- one being former teammate Ray Lewis.
Sign the Petition to Make May 20th ‘National Macho Man Randy Savage Day’
"If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space!" - Macho Man Randy Savage
Everyday, in the United States, we celebrate a national "something" day. There is a National Pancake Day because we're all fat. There is National Donut Day because...wait explained that. It's absurd. It's time for a holiday that celebrates one of our national treasures -- Randy 'Macho
A Review of Taco Bell’s Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos
Taco Bell has been an integral block of my food pyramid for almost two decades. Here is where things get a little odd though -- rarely do I stray from the regular. In the beginning the order was always the same -- three Soft Taco Supremes and three regular crunchy tacos -- with an occasional Grilled Stuft Burrito with beef. Boring but always delivered.
Sofia Vergara’s ‘Machete Kills 2′ Poster Proves Her Breasts are Indeed Lethal Weapons
Sofia Vergara is in 'Machete Kills', the sequel to the successful Robert Rodriguez flick staring Danny Trejo and a whole lot of blood. In the sneak peek posters, Vergara lets the world know her breasts have a featured role in the film. Check out the cannons attached to those cannons...
Why Buzzer Beaters Suck [Half a Man]
The ability to shoot video on anything -- smart phones, wristwatches and specially marked cans of Mr. Pibb -- has brought a litany of otherwise unseeable sports moments to the world.
Does this Russian Mail Order Bride Look Like Kate Upton?
Meet Ania, a beautiful young girl who splits her time between Vancouver (not that Vancouver) and Moscow.
McDonald’s Getting Rid of Popular Menu Items — Is Your Favorite Getting the Golden Axe?
McDonald's is shaking up its menu. Except, instead of adding a hundred new items as usual, the Golden Arches is giving the golden axe to some crowd favorites.
Kevin Heffernan and Steve Lemme are ‘Fat Man Little Boy’ [INTERVIEW]
Broken Lizard have performed together for over twenty years. First in college, at Colgate University, then in successful feature films like ‘Super Troopers’, ‘BeerFest’ and ‘Club Dread’ and on a massive comedy tour.
I Need a Hobby [Half a Man]
The excruciatingly long, mind-numbing minutes between 8pm and 11pm, all 180 of them, is the worst part of my day.
Vontae Davis Breaks NFL Rule and Blames ‘Hackers’
Vontae Davis of the Indianapolis Colts knows how to play defense. Vontae Davis does not know the rules of the NFL in regard to free agency and tampering, how hacking works, the rules of capitalization and that Twitter has a delete function...
Philadelphia Media Thinks Nnamdi Asomugha is a Bad Teammate For Eating Lunch in His Car
It happens in every sports city during the off season -- first you make a player look bad in the press with tiny little nuggets of nothing passed off as "news" and once he's out of town the "thank god that malcontent is gone" rhetoric continues until another target is found. Today's city -- Philly.
Kevin Heffernan of Broken Lizard — ‘There Will Be a “Super Troopers” Sequel’
This week, I had the pleasure of speaking with Kevin Heffernan and Steve Lemme of the comedy group Broken Lizard. Kevin and Steve sat down to discuss their careers, facial hair, which member of the group would be the most edible and their new stand-up special 'Fat Man Little Boy' which hits Netflix this Friday, March 1st.