As a follically challenged man, I face discrimination on a daily basis.  Over the weekend, I met a fellow bald dude who told me he was recently charged nearly $20 for a haircut at a local hair salon.  I was outraged.  Together, we plotted a campaign to promote the concept of a bald discount to the entire cosmetology industry.

If salons offer discounts for children, shouldn't they offer a special rate for bald guys who are too lazy to shave their own heads?  After all, stylists only have to worry about the sides and the back of our heads.  Not only do they save time, it's also a much easier procedure which requires far less precision to detail.  Since they have 1/3 less surface area to cut, it's only fair that a bald man's haircut should be 33% less expensive than a standard men's cut.

If you are a follically challenged American, it's time to stand up for your rights.  Next time you go in for a haircut, demand to receive the bald guy discount.  It's the right thing to do.