Guide to Dating #47 — Don’t Give Your Girlfriend Breath Mints For Valentines Day Like Brad Pitt Did
Listen, I had plenty of pictures of the actual Brad and Angelina, but here is something you have to know, if we’re going to be friends: I will always, always choose a photo of wax museum statues.
I’m proud of everyone reading this. Regardless of what kind of awesome and nice thing you did for the lady you love on V-Day yesterday — even if you made her some dinner or like, opened the car door for her for once, or even just let her go first in line at the gas station bathroom — you did better than Brad Pitt.
It’s funny when Hollywood gossip comes from an insider, because that’s code for friend, and the idea of a friend taking the time to call a magazine to tell them that their friend’s husband bought them breath mints is the funniest thing I can imagine. Anyway, if the gossip is true, you can now know that you are better than Brad Pitt, at least for today. Congrats.