Drunken Buffoon Saves Woman From Attacker, Becomes a Hero

My friend Eric is a huge baseball fan. This past Friday was one of his favorite days of the year, Opening Day at Coors Field in his hometown of Denver. Little did we know that he would become a civic hero later that day.

I first spoke to him around 10 a.m on Friday, he was already in route to the bar. By the time we met up in the early afternoon at the ballpark, he was three sheets to the wind. After the game, his condition continued to deteriorate. A group of old friends met up a local tavern and the whiskey shots starting flying. It was a gong show.

Before long, my poor friend Eric was a mess. Shortly after 7 p.m., he took his final whiskey shot. A few minutes later, we found him outside the bar, vomiting in an alley. Concerned for his safety, we offered to call him a cab. Resiliently, he pointed out that the light rail station was only two blocks away and promised that he would take the train home. That was the last time we saw him that evening.

The next day, we heard an incredible story. Evidently, while walking, or stumbling, to the train, Eric encountered a crazy man who was assaulting a woman. In spite of the fact he was barely conscious, he someone conjured the courage to grab the victim away from her assailant. It was then he noticed that she was bleeding from the face, after the crazy man had bitten her.

In his drunken stupor, Eric remained calm. Calling for three nearby men to help build a human wall around the woman and detain her attacker until the police arrived. After restoring order, my friend got back on the train and rolled home.

Had Eric not been drunk, I'm not sure if he was have had the liquid courage to confront a crazy man. Lucky for our society, he was so bombed that he threw caution to the wind and sprung into action. And, although he won't receive a metal, he's a civic hero in our book.