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Drunken Idiot Ruins Pool Party for Everyone

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If you think your local watering hole gets a little rough at times, imagine a bar so out of control that management has to enforce a maximum drink capacity as a means for cutting down on hair pulling, biting and other perils of the drunken idiot.

That is exactly what Germany’s largest swimming pool bar has been forced to do, ever since one of their guests went on a naked, violent rampage. Earlier this week, some patrons of the Erding Thermal baths complex asked to have a man removed from the premises because he kept harassing them in the sauna. However, the man did not go quietly.

When security arrived to help him find the exit, he punched one of the guards in the face, ripped out a chunk of his hair, and then tried to throw him into the pool. Police were called, but not even the threat of going to jail seemed to deter the man from his path of destruction, as he bit a female officer on the thigh and another on the shoulder before being taken into custody.

Management says that because they have had so much trouble dealing with inebriated guests, they now have a three-drink maximum for all patrons. “This was the final straw,” said Erding Thermal Baths manager Jörg Wund. “Self-control does not work.” A patron responding by saying, “this totally bites.” (No he didn’t.)

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