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Extremely Creepy Guy Has Had Sex With 1,000 Cars

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When this guy says, “What a set of headlights,” he’s not speaking metaphorically.

Edward Smith, 63, claims he’s had sex with nearly 1,000 cars, although what that physically entails is a mystery, probably one we’re better off not knowing.

The Washington state man offers no apologies, saying, “Some guys look at boobs and bums on beautiful women. I look at the front and rear on beautiful cars.”

Smith is actually a ‘mechaphile,’ a term used to describe a person who has a physical attraction to modes of transportation, including planes, train and automobiles. (And, yes, we’ll skip the obvious joke about the John Candy movie).

These days, Smith is a one-vehicle man. He says he’s in a relationship with a Volkwagen Beetle he’s named Vanilla:

When I hold Vanilla in my arms there’s a powerful energy that comes from her in response to that. If anything was to happen to her I would be more than heartbroken.”

Aww, here’s hoping these two crazy kids have a life filled with health, happiness and oil changes.

Smith’s fetish may seem odd, but he’s hardly alone. He claims there are 500 men around the globe who enjoy doing the wild thing with cars. We just hope we’re not around them while shopping for one.

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