My “Office Space” Moment with the Copy Machine

If you work in an office, chances are you've had several battles with the copy machine.  Today, I officially declared war on ours.  First it said, "paper jam", even though there was no paper jam.  After opening and closing every damn compartment on that wicked, wretched device, the "function clear" button refused to remove the warning.

After turning the entire apparatus off completely, it went into "power save" mode.  Then it advanced into the "warming up" stage.  Then it read "paper jam" again.  At this point, I completely lost my mind.  Luckily, one of the ladies in the office took over my project before I reenacted the classic copier destruction scene from the movie Office Space. Which was fortunate, as I was about to go "back up in that ass with the resurrection".

As I slowly regained what remained of my sanity, she suggested that I "read the manual".

"No, I will not read the manual," I replied.  "Who reads the f@#$ing manual?"

Finally, after 30 minutes of struggle, frustration and torment, my opponent was conquered.  Standing victorious over my vanquished foe, I triumphantly raised my arms in the air and shadow boxed all the way back to the Hawk studios with my document in hand.