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Only a Terrorist Would Put Ketchup on a Hot Dog

Photo by Chris McGrath/Getty Images

I grew up outside Chicago, home of the greatest hot dogs on the planet.  Where I’m from, putting ketchup on a hot dog is considered a crime against God and Country.

This weekend, I attended at BBQ at a friend’s house.  I was shocked and appalled by what I saw.  Sure, kids can put ketchup on their hot dogs, they don’t know any better.  But to see grown people cover their dogs in ketchup was horrifying.  When I questioned them, they defended this practice.  But it’s not ok.  Ever.  Under no circumstances should an adult use ketchup as a condiment on a hot dog.  Is nothing sacred?

I have nothing against ketchup.  It’s fine on burgers, or with french fries.  But it doesn’t belong anywhere near a hot dog.  Don’t like mustard?  That’s fine, you can dress your dog with any, or all, of the following condiments:  chili, relish, cheese, onions, sauerkraut, peppers, pickles, tomatoes, bacon, pulled pork, or cole slaw.  But not ketchup.

And, if you don’t believe me, just ask the fine folks at the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council, who officially declared in 2010 that the “use of ketchup on your hot dog after the age of 18 is unacceptable”.

As the legendary Clint Eastwood’s “Dirty Harry” character once said in the 1983 film Sudden Impact, “You know what makes me sick?  Watching you stuff your face with those hot dogs. Nobody, I mean NOBODY puts ketchup on a hot dog.”

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