Ranking the Sexiest Halloween Costumes for Women
Remember when Halloween was just for kids? Not anymore. Somewhere along the way, it became the one day every year when it’s socially acceptable for all women to wear skimpy, seductive outfits. And thank God for that. As we gear up for “National Dress Like a Slut Day”, let’s analyze, scrutinize and dissect the sexiest Halloween costumes of all time.
Today, I conducted an informal and completely unscientific poll of the men here at the radio station. After carefully tabulating the votes, our office favorite is the good ole fashioned Catholic School Girl. It’s hard to argue with that selection. Who among us hasn’t had the urge to provide a mischievous co-ed with some much needed discipline?
And speaking of discipline, getting handcuffed by a drunk chick in a police uniform is a tried and true Halloween tradition. If only every female cop looked like Heather Locklear in the T.J. Hooker days, this world would be a much safer place.
Another woman in uniform that commands respect is the Naughty Nurse. After a long night of revelry, sometimes you need a trained caretaker to monitor your vital signs. Even a sick man can be nurtured back to health by an experienced professional with a loving bed side manner.
Halloween night can be a real jungle, especially if you encounter a feisty catwoman. Be careful of these frisky felines fellows, they might purr like a kitten, but after a few drinks, their claws can come out. That’s why we encourage animal lovers to look for a beautiful bunny. Not only are their tails soft and furry, they also breed like rabbits and they can’t resist a guy with a wild hare.
For those willing to visit the dark side, a “she-devil” in disguise can be an enticing temptress. However, should you meet a wicked witch or a vampire, approach with caution. Unless you are fluent in the language of “crazy bitch”, it’s best to practice the catch and release method with those lovely lunatics.
Which brings us to the French Maid. There’s something oddly irresistible about a dirty girl who’s desperately trying to get clean. She can tidy up this mess any day. Plus, it’s a skill that could come in handy later if you need her to do your laundry.
So what is the Sexiest Halloween Costume for Halloween? It’s a question that’s been baffling great minds ever since scantily clad women started strutting their stuff in public. The best part of this debate? There is no wrong answer. Just ask the sexy librarian, she’ll tell you.