Sack Tapping Your Coworkers, A Cautionary Tale
While it’s not specifically mentioned in our employee handbook, I’m fairly confident that the Townsquare Media Human Resources Department would not approve of any employee attempting to strike a colleague in the midsection. However, some people deserve to be sack tapped. Take, for example, our night guy J.P.
J.P. can be a real condescending imbecile at times. His obnoxious comments, snark and sarcasm have been known to aggravate the entire office. Occasionally, his bad attitude will warrant a punch in the arm, a crop dusted office or even the dreaded sack tap. This morning, however, I nearly made a catastrophic mistake.
I was called into the office of our Operations Manager, another annoying nitwit, to brainstorm some of his dumb ideas. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a person I presumed to be J.P. Instinctively, I considered hitting him with a quickly delivered, perfectly timed sack tap. I was waiting until the exact moment he opened his big, fat, dumb mouth to strike. My hesitation turned out to be a lucky break.
The person standing over my shoulder was not our irritating night guy J.P., but rather our brand new Corporate Regional Bigwig from Boise. After just a quick glance, they bear a slight resemblance. Thankfully, just as I was reaching out to rack JP, I noticed that my aggression was targeted at the wrong guy, a dude who could easily fire me on the spot. Interestingly enough, after I admitted to our new Company Overlord that I had nearly sack tapped him, he laughed and noted that J.P. “probably deserved it”.
So let this be a lesson to you, particularly if you work in a corporate environment, when you’re planning to sack tap one of your colleagues, look first. It’s all fun and games until a tragic case of mistaken identity occurs and you accidentally bag your boss.