There is No Such Thing as a “Farewell Tour” in Rock ‘n’ Roll

When I was in high school, Ozzy Osbourne announced that he would be retiring from the road. So, of course, I bought a ticket to see his No More Tours tour.  I have seen him 7 times since (including one performance where Ozzy was so drunk, he played "Crazy Train" twice in the same show).

Years later, when KISS announced their Farewell Tour, I had to see them one last time. It turns out "farewell" really meant "we're kicking the other two guys out of the band after this tour and replacing them with impostors in makeup".

So, when the Scorpions announced their final tour in 2010, I took it with a grain of salt.  Yet still, I had to buy tickets to see them one last time. Of course, they've officially "un-retired" since and recently released a new album. Same goes for Judas Priest in 2011.

When a band hits the road for a farewell tour, it's kind of like a professional wrestler announcing their last match. They'll be back. And usually, they won't even wait a few years before declaring that they "missed the fans so much" and launching their next tour.

Sure, Motley Crue swears up and down this will be their final summer on the road. They even signed sworn oaths stating they won't tour again. I'll bet you any amount of money they'll be back on tour within the next five years. And when Black Sabbath recently announced their "Farewell Concert" in Japan this summer, I just laughed. Ozzy will have to be dead and buried before Sharon ever lets him really retire.