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DreamWorks Making ‘Troll Dolls’ Movies No One Asked For

Troll Dolls
Dam Corporation

Just like opening a present on your birthday only to discover a brightly-haired, gemstone-adorned little Troll Doll that you didn’t want or ask for, DreamWorks is gifting us with a Troll Doll movie.

According to THR, someone at DreamWorks went into their attic and dusted off an old box of toys, but since every other relic of our collective childhood is pretty much already in development as a movie or TV show, all that’s left is the lowly Troll Doll — the totem of what to buy a child of the 60s (and later, the 90s, when Troll Dolls experienced a brief comeback) when you had no idea what else to buy them.

This is starting to sound like a metaphor for the lack of creativity in Hollywood — they have no idea what else to give us, so Troll Dolls for everyone! Shawn Dennis, the mastermind behind the popularity of the American Girl dolls, has been tasked with revamping the Troll Dolls for a movie franchise and television series… and eventually backpacks, iPhone apps, accessories, and maybe even a lava lamp because why not.

The Troll Dolls were invented in 1959 by a Danish fisherman and woodcutter named Thomas Dam, who carved a little troll doll out of wood for a little girl. Legend has it, he had no idea what else to get for her birthday, and so a tradition was born. Maybe if we all dig out our old Troll Dolls and wish really hard on their little belly gems, we can make this DreamWorks idea un-happen.

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