Give Me More Bacon
We're getting so close to Baconfest 2015 that I can smell the sizzle as I type this. I hate to keep bringing it up and but I have the bacon shakes so bad that I can't contain myself any longer.
After all, bacon is the most beautiful drug in the world. It's even good for you. Seriously, it really is. Bacon actually contains choline. This is a nutrient that improves memory and brain development that is used to treat Alzheimer's. You see, if I don't eat more bacon, I may not know who I am in the morning. I've already forgotten my birthday because of bacon withdrawals. This could be dangerous.
I have been dreaming about bacon so badly that my wife has put portraits of pigs on my side of the bed to distract me from other things. I swear she is using my obsession to her advantage. That was until she found me hiding in the closet with the latest issue of Pork Of The Month. Ok, I made that magazine up, but somebody really should create it because I would truly be hiding checking out the centerfold.
I better chill it out before HR reads this blog and decides to have a little chat with me.
Regardless, Baconfest 2015 is a lot like Christmas as a kid. When you want something so bad to come, it never does. The closer it gets, the further away I feel it is. How can this be?