The Real Reason Free Beer Wasn’t On Today’s Show

Hi Idiots.

As you probably noticed from the utter chaos of the day, Free Beer was not in the studio today. Kelly was left to man the pilot's seat today and we only had a few hiccups, which is pretty good for us all things considered.

However, there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for this: he was unexpectedly swept away on a jungle safari. Late last night, while cleaning out his garage, he stumbled upon an old map. The map, supposedly leading to the lost "Consecrated Cookie Jar of Camelot," was said to bring eternal yumminess to its finder—assuming they could survive the perilous trek through the jungle.

Naturally, Free Beer, armed with little more than a hat, a seatless bicycle, and a deep hunger for adventure, embarked on a plane to the dense rainforests of South America before dawn.

By now, he's likely fending off rogue toucans and befriending monkeys to serve as his personal GPS. The last time we heard from him, he found the cookie jar's hidden cave but was forced to pause his quest after an intense showdown with a territorial sloth.

Rest assured, he’ll be back soon—hopefully with the cookie jar in hand, otherwise he'll be forced to eat the Panera bread cookies he left behind (a.k.a. the cookies Kelly and Steve ate for him). In the meantime, don't forget annual Idiots can join us Monday night at 6 p.m. ET for Virtual Live At Night!