The Internet Wonders Whether Ted Cruz Was Secretly in Stryper
Decades before he looked over primary poll results and sighed "to hell with Donald Trump," Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz may have performed "To Hell With the Devil" as the frontman for Christian rockers Stryper.
That, at least, is the tongue-in-cheek theory that's been making the rounds over the past few days, courtesy of an eagle-eyed internet user who must have been poring over old band photos for some reason and spotted an admittedly uncanny similarity between Cruz and Stryper frontman Michael Sweet. "I'm not saying Ted Cruz might be the lead singer of Stryper," wrote author Michael Boulerice. "I'm saying he's DEFINITELY the lead singer of Stryper."
Cruz, who was previously posited as the secret identity of the Zodiac Killer, seems to be a magnet for this sort of thing, but some Stryper fans don't find it all that amusing — even if Sweet himself has joined in the fun, joking that he needs to cancel his tour dates so he can focus on his "campaign."
While taking pains to prove that Sweet and Cruz have definitely been seen in different places at the same time (specifically on Aug. 9, 2014, when Stryper played the Legends of Rock Festival in Spain while Cruz visited a cow made of butter and tweeted, "Wow, a cow made of butter"), the Daily Dot also dug up a (since-deleted) plea from a fan group moderator begging people to stop linking to the photo because it "isn't funny anymore" and "never was."
Boulerice, meanwhile, is taking appropriate steps to ensure that his newfound notoriety spills over into his book sales, pledging that a portion of the proceeds from every copy of his novel The Adventures of KungFu Mike and the Magic Sunglasses will "go directly toward funding my crusade to unmask Ted Cruz as the shadowy frontman of Stryper."
See the Top 50 Heavy Metal Albums