Walmart Pulls Ugly Cocaine Christmas Sweater

It's all over the internet today. Walmart has pulled an ugly Christmas sweater from its online catalog after they received a bunch of negative feedback.  The sweater in question (sold by a 3rd party retailer on the Walmart website), featured a roughly drawn Santa and what appears to be lines of cocaine on a table.

Well, duh. How else do you suppose the Jolly Dude can stay up all night and zoom around to every kid's house in the world? Come to think of it, somebody better drug test the Elves too.

Anyway, now that Walmart has yanked the sweater, you're gonna have to go elsewhere to find your inappropriate, ugly Christmas sweater. Let me help. Here are some that I think you should absolutely wear to your kid's Christmas program or the office holiday party.

First off, why not go classy, with this black long-sleeved version? The ad states, "funny Christmas outfit gift for Cocaine Lovers." Indeed.

The problem with most Christmas sweaters is that you might feel kind of weird wearing it after the holidays. Not if you get this one. It's appropriate for the entire winter season.

Who says Ugly Christmas sweaters can't be sexy? And if three is better than two, this shirt is for you. The sellers state, "Festified Christmas sweaters will make you a star at your ugly Christmas sweater party, tacky sweater competition, holiday bar crawl, or gift exchange on Christmas morning!" Note: it appears that all three reindeer depicted in the compromising position are bucks.

The holidays are a great time for baking. This shirt would be perfect for the baker on your gift list. Show them you care with a "Let's Get Baked" shirt.

And finally, the Santa is Coming shirt. Guaranteed to be a hit with your HR department. Make sure you wear this one at the office sometime in the next couple of weeks.