The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
The Midnight Writer
Here is Why I Can’t Wait To Stop Trimming My Nose Hairs [Half a Man]
It was, by far, the largest clump of nose hair thine eyes had seen in the flesh. A county fair worthy thatch of hair protruding out the left nostril, like weeds who had found a small sidewalk crack out of which to flourish. It was mesmerizing, snow white, and honestly I couldn't stop since he boarded the train.
J.Crew Leather iPhone Case Because People Don’t Hate You Enough
There is such a thing as phone envy. We know, because we suffer from it every time a coworker whips out an iPhone 5 and it reminds us of our iPhone 0 because we can't afford an iPhone. We hate those people. We'd hate them even more if they had a leather iPhone case.
Watch this College Football Player Casually Complete a 65” Box Jump
For some people, athleticism looks boring. Take Dan Sullivan for example, a 6'2, 235 pound linebacker from Monmouth University in New Jersey. He makes this 65" box jump look like he was skipping over a puddle and onto a curb as to not ruin his brand new kicks...
Rhinestone Pokeball Bra is Making Our Pokeman Stiff
Sure to be loved by all Pokeman fans and hated by women who actually want to wear a comfortable bra -- the Rhinestone Pokeball Bra is now available on Etsy.
Yabba Dabba Huh? John Cena to Replace Fred Flintstone on Fruity Pebbles Boxes
This is the type of news that makes you think it's either a major joke on the internet or the head of Post has lost his fruity pebbles mind.
Sam Gordon, 9-Year-Old Female Football Phenom, Invited to Super Bowl
Remember Sam Gordon, the 9-year-old female version of Tecmo Bo Jackson? So does NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. Her Pee Wee football highlight reel and gaudy season stats got the attention of NFL executives. She was invited to the Super Bowl in New Orleans after hanging out with Goodell at a Giants game.
Print My Ride — Papercruisers Paper Models
Jesse loves Toyota Land Cruisers. He also loves making models out of paper and cardboard. Of course those two affections would collide -- introducing Papercruisers.
Jesse brings his love of modeling and cars to the public with these awesome cardboard and paper replicas of his favorite rides...
Guy Builds Limo of Junk Parts Worth $1M
If you collect enough junk, and add up the value, it will eventually be worth something -- especially if you attach all that crap to a limo.
Heather Cox Gets Snubbed During Rose Bowl Interview and Asks ‘Are You Kidding Me?!?’
Hell hath no fury like a sideline reporter getting snubbed on national television. Fine, maybe ESPN reporter Heather Cox didn't unleash hell, but she did get a little miffed.
Watch This Intense Giraffe Fight and Never Make Fun of Giraffe Again Because They Would OWN You
In this teaser for Discovery channel's upcoming documentary series Africa — which premieres January 8th — two giraffe go absolutely bonkers on one another.
Stainless Steel Paper Clip is So For Money and It Doesn’t Even Know It
Back before we were pulling in mad cash for writing this blog, several of the writers and editors used common office supplies for other purposes. We used bulldog clips during office S&M sessions, scrap paper as kindling to heat the office and paper clips to hold our dollar bills together.
Batman Chess Set Would Only Make Sense in Stately Wayne Manor
DUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNA CHESS SET! Yeah, not as catchy.