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Best of Billings Missed Connections

Photo by Ken James/Bloomberg via Getty Images

It’s time once again for our monthly roundup of desperate people looking for love on the Billings Craigslist Page.

Here’s the Best of Billings Missed Connections:

1.  Creepy Work Stalker

“I see you every day at work.  I try to get closer to you, we joke and flirt.  Realistically you should be off limits but I want you. You smell like pure sexuality.  Your body makes me insane, especially with the way you dress every day.  I know you’re far older than me.  Currently you’re married, but you have no idea what you’re missing. We can keep it on the down-low and fulfill one another’s fantasies.  If you’re reading this, although I doubt it, just give me a sign! I’m having a hard time controlling myself and if you won’t make a move I’ll be forced to quit my job.  Please, don’t make me find another place to work, just let me show you my lust.”

I wonder if he would consider a restraining order to be “a sign”

 

2.  Gettin’ Lucky at Lucky’s Market

“You gave me the eye at the butcher counter. Then I looked up in the bulk section and there you were again! Coincidence? Just to make sure I wandered over to the produce and you were right there following. Time for another trip to Lucky’s.”

3.  Better Late Than Never

“Harden, MT, Crow girl.  You were a friend of the girl who likes to fish.  We talked, drank, played music, smoked outside and even tried to dance . You gave me a ride to hotel but I never got your ###. The date was November 23, 2012.”

This guy moves fast

4.  Cruisin’ for chicks in the Wal-Mart Parking Lot

“On Monday, April 7th, at about 1:45pm, I was out from work sick today and had to stop at Wal Mart in The Heights to do some shopping. I finished my business and went to my car. When I was warming up the car and priming my mp3 player for the drive home – I was in the part of the lot over by the pharmacy. You were in the passenger seat of a grey (maybe silver) car headed up the parking lot (away from the building). The driver did not have their window down, but you had yours down. You were jamming out to the music. We made eye contact, looking at each other like we SHOULD know each other, but it was so quick, neither of us could be sure. You looked at me, waiting, so I waved – and you waved back with such enthusiasm and a smile that could melt the polar ice caps. You had dark hair, a fair complexion – I was the big guy in the green Subaru, with blonde hair, sunglasses, and a bushy red beard.”

5.  Thank You for Smoking

“You were coming down the street like 5-ish yon Friday April 4, 2014. I was sitting down chatting with a friend of mine and you walked by and then turned back around see if either of us had a cig we’d give up.  I’d give up a cig anytime honestly to see that hottie face again!!!! Loved the piercing you have it was very sexy too. Anywho, if you see this and ever need another cigarette HMU or maybe we’ll run into each other again in that same spot.”

Here’s hoping these lonely guys find what they are looking for.

 

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