Don’t Put It Out With Your Boots, Ted
After the kids are done trick or treating tonight, the real mayhem begins. If you’re a home owner, you’ll want to keep an eye out for mischievous Halloween hoodlums armed with eggs, shaving cream, soap, and toilet paper.
Trust no one between the ages of 12 and 16. Your car could be the target of a randomly selected egging. The trees in your yard could get tp’d. Your windows could be soaped. And if you hear a ring at the doorbell and find a flaming bag on your porch, whatever you do, don’t stomp out the fire. The flaming dog crap inside that bag could ruin a perfectly good pair of shoes.
To borrow a line from Old Man Clemens in the classic comedy Billy Madison, “Don’t put it out with your boots, Ted. Don’t tell me my business, Devil Woman”.