Rick is Having a Hard Time Adjusting to the Weather in Billings

I grew up in the burbs of Chicago and Denver.  I dealt with brutal winter weather for the first 24 years of my life.  Then I moved to sunny California, then Phoenix, then Texas.  And now, after deliberately avoiding cold and snow for the past 13 years, my lust for career advancement has finally caught up with me.  It's officially, I am freezing my nards off.

When I moved to Billings, I knew that this day would come.  But that doesn't mean I have to like it.  Those 13 years of warm weather have thinned my blood and turned me into a complete p@#$%.  I'm pretty sure I forgot how to drive in a blizzard too.  So if you see a black Jeep Rubicon anywhere near the Crowne Plaza in downtown Billings, stay as far away from me as you possibly can.  I am a danger to myself and others.

Of course, if you've lived here for most of your life, you should feel absolutely no pitty for me whatsoever.  I'm not asking for your sympathy, I'm urging you to be cautious around an idiot who can't drive in the snow.