Who’d You Puke On?
Have you heard about the drunk country music fan who was invited on stage and projectile vomited on the crowd at a Dierks Bentley concert? It's one of the best stories I've seen this week. In fact, I was so inspired, I conducted a stupid poll on my Facebook page today. The question was, "Who'd You Puke On"?
My friend Jason Frost answered: "I've vomited with my head out the window of my GF's car while doing 80 on the freeway. I got super hammered at a show and on the way home I rolled the window down to get air and had my head laying on the door. When I felt it coming up I couldn't even lift my head up, just pointed my mouth out and let it go. Kori was so pissed at me forever about that. I cleaned up most of it, but she kept finding more vomit in weird places in and around the car."
My pal Steve Stansbery wrote: "I threw up in my backpack once. Still use it too."
Sarah Zavesky also had an interesting experience: "Years ago, at an office Christmas party, my boss at the time drank a bit to much and vomited on me." Here's hoping that Sarah was able to parlay that incident into a nifty holiday bonus.
Wayne Hamilton added, "Haven't barfed on anyone, but in my SCA days, I did drink enough to barf and change the natural color of the grass. They started a betting pool on where I'd do it next. Needless to say, I haven't drank in well over 6 years".
And, not to be outdone, my good pal Adam Guiterrez shared this gem, "I threw up on the doctor that fixed my flat feet...I'M STILL SO SORRY, DOCTOR!"
Sadly, I've had a few embarrassing moments of my own. Back in high school, my buddies and I played a game called "The Century Club". The rules are simple: you drink a 1 oz. shot of beer every minute for 100 minutes. It sounds easy, but it's not. I made it to minute 78 before I lost my lunch all over my friend's basement.
I also had a run in with a bottle of Jagermeister several years ago. It was the first time my vomit was ever pitch black. I have had a healthy amount of fear for the deer every since.
Then there was the time in college when I had a steamy make out session with a drunk chick. People kept staring at me for the rest of the night and I didn't know why. Later, I learned that, before I arrived at the party, the drunk chick had spend several minutes in the bathroom puking her guts out. No wonder her breath smelled like Chili Cheese Fritos.