Prestigious Brown University just finished a study that concluded Republicans have a different smell than Democrats. Researchers lined the armpits of both groups with gauze for a full 24 hours. Test subjects were then instructed to smell each gauze and see which they preferred. Oddly enough, the test subjects were more attracted to the smells of the people who shared their political views.

I've never jammed my face in the armpit of a staunch conservative or a bleeding heart liberal, but I assume one would be more of a Speed Stick / Right Guard smell and the other would be some sort of Tom's of Maine Fennel odor. The really good thing about this study is that it has lessened my regrets about not going to college.