A man from Northern Ireland is behind bars for attempting to turn his own feces into gold. His brilliant idea caused almost $5,000 worth of damage to his apartment when he tried to dry out his poop on a heater.

Paul Moran, 30, kept his own waste and heated it in an attempt to produce the precious metal. An officer overheard Moran tell firefighters the cause of the blaze was “fertilizer” on the heater. Moran’s lawyer described him as a man of “considerable intellectual ability” but had problems due to years of drug abuse.

Shame. Another great idea down the crapper. He could’ve made millions with ‘Splash for Gold’ franchises.

[Via MyFox DC]

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