The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
The Midnight Writer
12 Bulls**t Lines People Use During Break-ups — And What They Actually Mean
Yesterday, I overheard one dude-bro discussing with another dude-bro his flatlining relationship and the correct procedure to "dump the nut job."
How to Tell a Killer Joke — With Help From Jackie ‘The Joke Man’ Martling
At least once a week, someone in the office will seize the opportunity -- either at lunch, around the coffee machine or while we're all huddled underneath our desks for a nap -- to tell the group a joke. Nine times out of ten the joke BOMBS.
If ‘The Godfather’ Were Rebooted, Who Would Play Each Role?
'The Godfather' should never be touched. We're referring to both the fictional character and the entire movie franchise. It can never be improved upon (fine, the third movie needs a little work) and remains one of the greatest treasures in cinema.
6 Ways to Use Your Mom to Pick Up Women
Every dating website will preach the importance of a "wing man." Wing men are overrated. Wing women are the key to sex-cess.
‘Keith and the Girl’ Eat Weird Candy & Talk Uncomfortable Podcast Moments [INTERVIEW]
Keith and the Girl have been podcasting since before the world knew podcasting was an actual thing.
Roddy Piper Comments on Ric Flair’s Recent Arrest Warrant
'Rowdy' Roddy Piper, never a man to mince words or not speak his mind, was a recent guest on WODZ to promote an upcoming 2CW Wrestling show and Piper's Pit in Utica, NY.
19 Atrocious Photos That Prove Engagement Pics Are Always a Bad Idea
Our philosophy with wedding planning is simple -- just let the woman have what she wants as long as it doesn't involve future shame. Engagement photos are future shame.
21 Things That Ruined Your Summer Vacation As a Kid
Summer vacation is the greatest time in a kid's life. No school. No bullies. No teachers. No worries.
BREAKING NEWS: Kate Upton Spotted Wearing a White Bikini and Events Like This Make Us Miss Walter Cronkite
Did you know Kate Upton is filming a movie in the Hamptons with Mrs. Judd Apatow and the girl who really hasn't done much since 'The Mask' but once got Ben Stiller's sperm in her hair?
If a Baseball Brawl Doesn’t End in Death Soon, I’m Going to Stop Watching [Half a Man]
Another brawl in baseball. Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher Zack Greinke got plunked in a game last night against the Arizona Diamondbacks and the ensuing brawl is a great reminder to everyone on the East coast that baseball happens after 10PM our time and WHOKNEWAMMARIGHT...
Candy Company Offers Breast Milk Flavored Lollipops — Makes For Great Treat After Therapy
The award-winning gourmet lollipop company, Lollyphile, has never been afraid to experiment with off-the-wall flavors.
Four years ago, the "adult candy company" started producing absinthe-flavored suckers just before the absinthe ban was lifted...