11 Reasons You Ladies Should Cook For Your Man
Ladies! I realize that the meer mention of domestic chores set's you into a bra burning, red faced rage the likes only Gloria Steinem could appreciate. But step back and think about it. Here are 11 reasons you should make sure you are in charge of meals for your man.
Seriously. You can bake a cake and eat it, and be like, "Screw you, I made this. I'm going to eat as much of it as I want because I BAKED A CAKE. IN THE OVEN. EAT ME."
How do you tell him that he's gained 15 pounds and his chest is slowly closing in on your bra cup size? You don't. Instead, you take over his meals with low-fat substitutes, grilled proteins and bean curd.
While it's not Sephora, ShopRite offers some amazing retail therapy. Unlike a trip to the mall, you can afford to fill up an entire shopping cart full of just about anything your heart desires.
Since you're in charge of dinner, you can also choose to take over ambience! Light some candles, queue up a sexy playlist and slip on something slinky. Sometimes it's up to you to bring the va-va-voom into the room.
Why drop half a paycheck on a fancy dinner out when you can cook something just as special for a fraction of the price? The economy is still in tank, so spend your hard-earned money on that bag you'll wear all year, not the lobster you'll eat in one evening. Tonight is a chicken cutlet night.
Running out of ideas in the bedroom? Move it to the kitchen. Feed him oysters, dark chocolate, figs, honey and lobster. Just not in that order. Or skip the whole shebang and just go with whipped cream, the old refrigerator standby.
When he's finally licked his plate clean, clear off the dishes and wipe off the mess. Then hop on and make your own mess. When the kitchen table's rockin', don't come a-knockin'. Seriously. It might break under you after that gigantic pot roast dinner.
Because you suspect that he may be cheating on you. Have fun flirting with your coworker tomorrow morning with explosive diarrhea.
Cooking up a huge pots n' pan-filled mess for dinner in exchange for loading the dishwasher is the oldest trick in the domestic book. Bonus: taking out the garbage.
He always wants sushi and you constantly crave barbecue. Nip the nightly argument in the bud! When you cook, you get to choose the menu and dine on whatever you want to prepare. And if you want to eat ribs, then dammit, you're going to make and eat ribs. And he can suck it.
You slaved over a hot stove while he watched the Daily Show and farted and this is the thanks you get? Not even a thank you? You will never lose the next fight you two have.